I’m that Mum who…



PhotoGrid_1465878204306I’ll admit it. I was the pregnant lady who wasn’t going to do this and wasn’t going to do that when it came to raising my child. I was full of shit. I was clueless. How did I know how I was going to raise my son when I had zero experience when it came to motherhood? I apologize to all the mums who I bullshitted to prechild. They would have known. They probably did it too. We all set out to be the perfect mum. But truth it, nobody is perfect. Anyone claiming to be a perfect parent is either full of shit or has a full time nanny. And hey-who wants to be perfect anyway? Where’s the fun in that?  We can only try our best and that’s more than enough!

FB_IMG_1465823034470So I will admit that I’m that Mum who fails often. But I don’t beat myself up over it. Actually I do the opposite-I quite often laugh at myself for being ‘that Mum’! Because it’s OK to fail! Failing is a sign of trying. And from trying comes learning.

I’m that Mum who will let their kid get absolutely filthy dirty while they are having fun. Because memories are being made and clothes can be washed.

FB_IMG_1465818822338I’m that Mum who says ‘shit’. Then my child says ‘shit’. Then I say ‘oh fuck’! Oops. I had a potty mouth before (and definetly whist) I gave birth so just because I’m now a parent doesn’t mean that I’m going to change.

I’m that Mum who turns up to mothers group at the beach without a hat. Without sunscreen. Without snacks. Who that day relied on the generosity of the other Mums to provide me with those items (thanks ladies).

FB_IMG_1465818672066I’m that Mum who gives food which has been on the floor (for more than five seconds) back to my kid. I ain’t cooking a whole new piece of toast for you through throw right back on the floor again. Now before people get their knickers in a knot, I only do this at home. Not out in public-that’s different! Yuck!

I’m that Mum who takes a photo of a funny situation involving their child before saving them. Cos that shot is funny and needs to be documented!

FB_IMG_1465822867976I’m that Mum who bribes my child with a lollypop so that I can go shopping in peace. Not every time! An apple also works a treat and gets me about 20 minutes of quiet which is enough time to do a lap of Kmart.

I’m that Mum who went to her first ever kick boxing lesson 3 months after giving birth and almost died due to being ridiculously unfit. And was the ony one there who didn’t have have a sports bra (E cup.Not good) and spent the majority of the one hour session trying to keep her boobs in her top.

FB_IMG_1465818211373I’m that Mum who can’t wait to drop their kid off at Nan & Pops. I’m not one of these mums who misses their kid 24 hours of the the day when they aren’t with them. Yes I miss my son but I know he’s safe and I love my me time! And I’m not just a Mum. I’m still me and deserve to have some fun!

I’m that Mum who will buy hot chips for lunch because I can’t be arsed making something.  We will have extra vegetables with dinner.

FB_IMG_1465818611438I’m that mum who takes their kid to McDonald’s for a play. Because I want a coffee and I don’t want to annoy people enjoying theirs in a nice, quiet cafe. Props to Maccas-coffee and a play area. Genius. Don’t know why more places don’t do it?!

I’m that mum who won’t dress my child in a shirt that says ‘my Mum is the best Mum in the world’. Because I’m not. And even if I was, I’m not a bragger.

FB_IMG_1465823328307I’m that Mum who accidentally left Spiderman on the roof of the car. Lucky his spidey skills kept on there until we got home. No meltdown that day thank goodness!

I’m that mum who loves her child so much it hurts. I’m that Mum that is winging this part of my life but is loving it more than I ever imagined! All Mum’s are ‘that Mum’ who thinks they are failing. You aren’t. You are normal. Hats off to you!

Zoe xx


Winter Decorating.


Some of my top picks for winter decorating. Items from Adairs, Freedom Furniture, Zanui, Immy & Indi, Country Road.

Creating a beautiful and inviting home during those colder winter months can make it all the more bearable. I for one dislike the cold and have a hard time understanding why people even holiday in places with snow!?! But, we live in a country which is cold (where I am anyway) for a large chunk of the year, and so we must toughen up and wait it out. Which is easier to do if your interior is gorgeous and winter ready. So here’s my top tips for giving your home a bit of a winter makeover-without going full winter wonderland style.


Gorgeous faux Furs from Adairs.

LAYERS | What do we do when the air starts to become cooler? We put the flannelette sheets on the beds and maybe pop a spare blanket on the end too. Do the same with your couch-add a blanket or two and also some extra cushions to snuggle into. You can tell your partner that they are for warmth when yes they are, but they are also making your living room or bedroom look fabulous! Don’t just choose cheaper, thinner blankets-go all out! Get an oversized chunky knit or faux fur blanket and make it a real statement piece! Choose something in a neutral colour so that you can keep using it year after year. White, cream, black, browns etc. With your cushions, mix it up a bit. Combine colour, pattern and texture to add interest. Again, chunky knits and faux Furs are great to give that winter look. Remember that you can mix and match to create your own unique style so play around with different ones until you find a happy combination for your interior. TIP: Use different sized cushions if you can on both beds and lounge chairs. It adds to the layering concept and gives a more luxe look.


On trend designs from Beacon Lighting.

MOOD LIGHTING | Warm blankets. A cup of hot chocolate. Back to back episodes of your favourite show on Netflix. All under the soft light of a gorgeous floor or table lamp. That’s an ideal night in during winter for me!! I love turning off the main lighting in my home and switching on a lamp or two. It just adds to that comfy winter feel. Current trends for lamps include metallic and timber finishes. Both tie in very well with the winter mood we are trying to create for in interior space. Brass is in and it’s gorgeous. A great way of adding a dulled back bit of bling to your space. A very warm metal which is perfect for winter styling. If you don’t want to be picking items too on trend, go with a timber finish lamp or something plain coloured (white/black/chrome etc) as they will be less likely to date and you’ll get your money’s worth out of your lamp for longer. Depending on your space, you can select either a table lamp, floor lamp or even a low hanging pendant. A lamp isn’t just for giving off light. It can be a key feature point in a room so select carefully so that it sits well in your interior space.


Indoor plants are guaranteed to look amazing in any style of interior.

INDOOR PLANTS | First off, if you dont have a green thumb, buy artificial plants. There’s some half decent fake plants and flowers out there these days so don’t feel bad for not being able to keep a real one alive (I kill plants. Often. And I love gardening!). If you do love some greenery in your home-I love nothing more than indoor plants to complete a space-then make sure you do a little research and find some plants suitable for your interior. I was given some great tips by the lovely ladies at Polly And The Wren for keeping indoor plants happy during the cold winter months. Still buy indoor plants-don’t be scared to have them because of the change in temperature and lack of sun. Just move your plants into brighter spots so they can drink in that gorgeous sunlight. Also, water your plants less as they won’t need as much as they do in the warmer months. Be wary of indoor heating as they will dry out and even kill your plants. Move your plants away from fireplaces and reverse cycle heating and pop them in front of a window so they can get some sun instead.


Moody scented items from Dusk.

SCENTS | Something some people might not think of when decorating their home, but something I believe goes hand in hand with a gorgeous interior. I always light a scented candles when I’m expecting comany (or even when I’m relaxing at home) is I think it creates an inviting mood. In summer I prefer fruity,sweet scents where as in winter I love woody, musky or vanilla based scents. Tip: Buy your candles from either a retailer who specialises in candles or a small business who loves to create beautiful, true scents. Some of the big retailers manufacture candles which are sickly sweet smelling or have no smell at all. You want a gorgeous candle or scented product which omits it’s perfume throughout your house and so it pays to spend a little more and get a gooder quality one.

Don’t think that you need to change your entire interior in order for it to be winter ready. Set yourself a budget and purchase a few key items to help pretty up your home and give it that extra warmth during the colder months. Concentrate on the living area and master bedroom as they are the spaces you want to be cosiest. And when you are done decorating, grab that cup of tea or glass of red wine, sit on the couch surrounded by your new throw blanket and cushions, and own winter. In style.

Keep warm!

Zoe xx

Anxiety. That Sneaky Bastard.

PhotoGrid_1464679265420This is the third time I’ve written this blog post. Why? Because anxiety, the sneaky bastard, makes me feel like a selfish bastard myself for being all ‘woe is me’. That’s the thing with anxiety-you think what the hell is wrong with me? I have a loving family. A roof over my head. Good friends. Everything I could ever want in this life of mine. Yet, there’s this little niggle in your head telling you that everything is not OK.  Everything is wrong. And it’s all my fault. I can only speak about my own experience with it and know that there are people suffering so much more than me. But here goes.

PhotoGrid_1464680103139Although I have known for a long time that there wasn’t something quite right in my head, I wasn’t made aware that I had been suffering from the sneaky bastard until I had my son. I was so excited to become a mum. It was a dream come true! Yet it was feeling more like a nightmare at the time. When Jack was just a few weeks old, I found that I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I found it hard to bond with my gorgeous little man. And I simply felt overwhelmed by the world. Something I think lots of new mums feel, but in my heart I knew I couldn’t go on like this and be the best mum for Jack. After zero sleep for days, weeks even, I remember saying to my husband ‘what is wrong with me?’. I should be loving this new chapter of my life. Instead I was a walking zombie, living off a few teaspoons of Nutella each day. I was the skinniest I’ve ever been in my life and I could no longer produce milk to feed my son. I felt like shit. I felt like a piece of shit for being this kind of mum to my son. Thankfully I was aware enough to know this was not right and sought help from a local doctor. He immediately diagnosed me as having Post Natal Depression and straight away I started on a low dose of medication. I also sought help through a local mothers group especially for sufferers of PND. Both worked wonders for me-knowing I wasnt alone and talking to people seemed scary at first, but it was so great to know that i wasnt alone. The medication was perfect for me and I felt back to my old self in no time.


Looking back I can see in my face how unhappy and lost I was

So once Jack was around 6 months old, I had finished my weekly sessions with the mothers group and decided to try taking myself off the medication. Big mistake. A few days of once again feeling overwhelmed and one minor meltdown later, I was back at the doctor surgery. Apparently you should never just take yourself off a medication (oops) and after a lengthy conversation with my doctor, he told me that it sounded like I had been battling with anxiety for some time and that the medication was helping my brain to be ‘normal’ again. PND was a heightened form of my anxiety. He explained that sometimes certain people need the help of medication to balance things out in their head and make them feel better. So as horrid as having Post Natal Depression was, it made me aware of the sneaky bastard and I was thankful to finally have a diagnosis. Now, I know that medication doesn’t work for everyone but it certainly did for me-a few days back on the meds and I started feeling well again.

For me, anxiety comes in the form of needing everything to be perfect (which always worked well when decorating! ). Feeling overwhelmed. Biting my nails. Losing my shit over nothing. Worrying. Worrying. Worrying. Which leads to exhaustion and not being able to sleep-not a healthy combination. Especially as a new mum. I wasn’t aware that these were signs of anxiety until I started on my medication. For the first time in forever, I grew my nails. I stopped worrying. And I started enjoying. I was able to stop. Sit down. And take in life. Enjoy it instead of worrying about it. Which I hadn’t done throughout the majority of my 20’s.

PhotoGrid_1464679248917Another thing which helped greatly with dealing with PND and anxiety for me, was starting up The DIY Decorator. I’ve never been able to do lazy well. I’m not one to sit around all day and not achieve anything. And so I decided to take my love of decorating and homewares and start something to occupy my time. Wow it worked well! Better than I could ever have imagined. I felt like I had a purpose again. I still regard it as a huge benefactor to helping me with deal with the sneaky bastard.

When I was first dealing with these issues,  I didn’t dare tell anyone. I was so embarrassed. My friends all had kids and seemed to not struggle. No one else that I knew of had anxiety. I did actually had one friend who was very open about having PND and suffering from depression herdelf and I am actually very thankful to her for sharing her story with me as I think it helped me seek help during my dark days. Once I started feeling better-the best I’d felt in ages actually- I started to open up to people. And not one person was negative. I learnt that many people I knew suffered from some sort of mental health issue which they were hiding just as well as I was.

PhotoGrid_1464679294114So what have I learnt about my own experiences with the anxiety? Always speak up. Nobody will judge you. And if they do, fuck them! They aren’t worthy of your friendship. It’s a hard enough battle without someone not supporting you. Don’t feel bad. It’s not your fault. You can’t control these feelings and sometimes you can’t fix them, so seek help. Talk to your friends. Talk to your family. I bet you will find that some of them will open up to you about their own demons. Be kind to everyone you come across. You don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes in their own lives and they might be having a really shit time right now. There were times for example when say someone was serving me at a shop were rude to me. I would go home and have a breakdown because of it. They ruined my day without even knowing or trying. And it wasnt their fault but as a sufferer I now know that I don’t want to do that to someone who is also suffering and so I  make more of an effort to be polite. Speak openly about PND and the sneaky bastard-because it creeps up on others too! Tell your pregnant frinds to be aware of Post Natal Depression-there’s not enough education for new mums on the subject. Let them know that they don’t have to suffer in silence and that you are a phone call away. Talking is the best medicine!

FB_IMG_1464752540387I can honestly say that I wish I had sought help for my anxiety years ago. I probably would have enjoyed life a lot more instead of worrying about it. Life’s too short to spend it being afraid and unhappy. Please, please, please seek help if you need it. Even if you aren’t 100% sure that you do, go see a Doctor anyway. You CAN feel normal again! I am so thankful for everything in my life even more now and am the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Yes there will still be hurdles and I’ll be completely honest, I am shit scared when I think  about having another baby in the future, but I know I’ll have the love and support from those around me and for that I am beyond grateful.