I’ll admit it. I was the pregnant lady who wasn’t going to do this and wasn’t going to do that when it came to raising my child. I was full of shit. I was clueless. How did I know how I was going to raise my son when I had zero experience when it came to motherhood? I apologize to all the mums who I bullshitted to prechild. They would have known. They probably did it too. We all set out to be the perfect mum. But truth it, nobody is perfect. Anyone claiming to be a perfect parent is either full of shit or has a full time nanny. And hey-who wants to be perfect anyway? Where’s the fun in that? We can only try our best and that’s more than enough!
So I will admit that I’m that Mum who fails often. But I don’t beat myself up over it. Actually I do the opposite-I quite often laugh at myself for being ‘that Mum’! Because it’s OK to fail! Failing is a sign of trying. And from trying comes learning.
I’m that Mum who will let their kid get absolutely filthy dirty while they are having fun. Because memories are being made and clothes can be washed.
I’m that Mum who says ‘shit’. Then my child says ‘shit’. Then I say ‘oh fuck’! Oops. I had a potty mouth before (and definetly whist) I gave birth so just because I’m now a parent doesn’t mean that I’m going to change.
I’m that Mum who turns up to mothers group at the beach without a hat. Without sunscreen. Without snacks. Who that day relied on the generosity of the other Mums to provide me with those items (thanks ladies).
I’m that Mum who gives food which has been on the floor (for more than five seconds) back to my kid. I ain’t cooking a whole new piece of toast for you through throw right back on the floor again. Now before people get their knickers in a knot, I only do this at home. Not out in public-that’s different! Yuck!
I’m that Mum who takes a photo of a funny situation involving their child before saving them. Cos that shot is funny and needs to be documented!
I’m that Mum who bribes my child with a lollypop so that I can go shopping in peace. Not every time! An apple also works a treat and gets me about 20 minutes of quiet which is enough time to do a lap of Kmart.
I’m that Mum who went to her first ever kick boxing lesson 3 months after giving birth and almost died due to being ridiculously unfit. And was the ony one there who didn’t have have a sports bra (E cup.Not good) and spent the majority of the one hour session trying to keep her boobs in her top.
I’m that Mum who can’t wait to drop their kid off at Nan & Pops. I’m not one of these mums who misses their kid 24 hours of the the day when they aren’t with them. Yes I miss my son but I know he’s safe and I love my me time! And I’m not just a Mum. I’m still me and deserve to have some fun!
I’m that Mum who will buy hot chips for lunch because I can’t be arsed making something. We will have extra vegetables with dinner.
I’m that mum who takes their kid to McDonald’s for a play. Because I want a coffee and I don’t want to annoy people enjoying theirs in a nice, quiet cafe. Props to Maccas-coffee and a play area. Genius. Don’t know why more places don’t do it?!
I’m that mum who won’t dress my child in a shirt that says ‘my Mum is the best Mum in the world’. Because I’m not. And even if I was, I’m not a bragger.
I’m that Mum who accidentally left Spiderman on the roof of the car. Lucky his spidey skills kept on there until we got home. No meltdown that day thank goodness!
I’m that mum who loves her child so much it hurts. I’m that Mum that is winging this part of my life but is loving it more than I ever imagined! All Mum’s are ‘that Mum’ who thinks they are failing. You aren’t. You are normal. Hats off to you!